The Day After

This year has been a year of unknowns for me.

A year of  “how will I get there” and “what will we do if” and “when will we ever”.

A year of  “why did I just” and “did they really” and  “how on earth”.

A year of waiting for… I don’t know.

It has also been a year of revelation. Each of these questions has been answered. Sometimes in great detail. Sometimes succinctly. Sometimes with a simple, “Be still… wait on Me and I will give you strength.”

The question that looms for me today: “What am I going to do on Black Friday??”

 

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How do they do it?!

Whenever I hear women talking about juggling their crazy schedules I wonder to myself, “How on earth do they balance all of that?” And if these busy ladies have kids I just shake my head. I am aghast at what some people feel that they need to accomplish in a week.

Perhaps my homebody tendencies (some may call them “anti-social”) have skewered my perception of reality. Maybe I don’t have the drive to be a supermom that pushes some women to surge forward into their overbooked, hyper-involved daily grind.

When I compare myself to them I feel like such a… sloth. You know, the creature that only makes time to go to the bathroom once a week, and even that is an feat that takes an entire day to accomplish and requires taking a nap in between each stage of completion.

I leave my house a couple of times a week. Normally Saturdays involve some sort of car ride away from my domicile simply because I need *some* sort of stimulation from the outside world… and we’ve run out of paper towels or coffee creamer or some other necessity during the week (although, I will confess I’ve grown quite accomodated to having my darling husband stop at the grocery store several times a week on his way home to gather any necessary supplies). I make my weekly pilgrimage to church on Sundays and to a Wednesday night Bible study for a couple of hours once every 4 or 6 weeks. Occasionally I will venture out on a weekday for a school event or to take one of the littles to the pediatrician. There is no toting of little ballerinas to dance class, no soccer practice, no gym membership.

Let’s contrast my schedule with that of my Supermom friend who is going to events for herself or her children seven days a week. Monday night is Ladies’ night–time out with a friend. Tuesday night is errand night. Wednesday night the family goes to a group Bible Study. Thursday night is soccer or baseball or football practice. Friday is family night and Saturday is reserved for sports games for the kids. Sundays are church and ferrying more kids to sports and other extra-curricular activities.

I can barely juggle my husband’s busy days, I cannot imagine what life would even look like if I allowed my kids to participate in any sort of out-of-school activities, let alone carried out any form of a social life for myself. There are times that I wonder if I am doing my children a great disservice by not allowing or encouraging them to be involved in any activities out of school but I have to weigh that against my capabilities. I am sometimes overwhelmed with what little that I do, the odds are quite likely that I’d be a grumpasaurus if I added in anything. Sure, I crave silly things like talking with a friend or going out for a latte… maybe even just going for a walk every now and again but I weigh that in a balance against my sanity.

I’m just not sure it’s safe for this tiger to be let out of her cage to roam free among people in the real world.